KINDNESS

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4 v32

I Choose Kindness…
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for that is how God has treated me. Max Lucado

Be kind to yourself and others

Zoe Symptom app: No 1 tip for improving mental health.

You may wonder why I am writing these blog asides. The only explanation I can give is that a word comes into my head and stays there until I address it and write down the flood of thoughts that often accompany it. Mulling over the word, sometimes for weeks, it seems to pop up in all sorts of contexts. and it feels like God is trying to get a message through me out into the world. Writing that and rereading it sounds a bit arrogant. I don’t mean to be. As I think I have mentioned before, I believe God wants to use anyone who is open to listening to himand acting on his words to us.

Kindness – for weeks this word is in my head, in the media, evident in those around me and those geographically distant. Such an underrated word, often passed over, almost taken for granted. Yet we all know how we feel if someone is unkind. Even yesterday, in a supermarket new to me, looking to queue, a man in no uncertain terms made me aware where the end of the line was as it looked as though I was deliberately queue jumping, which I wasn’t. I was just unaware, but the unfriendly tone in his voice upset my equilibrium and reminded me that often it’s not what we say, it’s the way that we say it.

It costs nothing to be kind and each time we do an act of kindness, as small as smiling at a stranger, we can make a difference to someone else’s day. Likewise kindness shown to us lifts the mood and lightens the spirit. It’s almost catching – you do something kind to someone who then looks to be kind to someone else and so it continues. In the Bible kindness is a fruit of the spirit and what better example do we have to follow than Jesus himself who taught us that loving our neighbour is the second most important commandment, the first being to love God above all else.

‘Love is kind’ …… what does love look like without kindness? I believe they are integral to one another. Underlying our actions should be the spirit of kindness, including being kind to ourselves, a concept overlooked by many who believe this to be selfish. If we are not in a good place, if we are sad or depressed, it is harder to motivate ourselves to show kindness to others. Again, kindness to ourselves doesn’t have to cost anything except maybe time. A walk in the park, a candlelit bath, a good book, a film, a call with a friend, a treat to eat. You’ll know what energizes you to add to the list. Small acts of kindness to ourselves leading to small and then maybe big acts of kindness to others.

I was interested to read this week on the Zoe app (Covid symptom study) that of the top 5 coping strategies for improving our mental health and well being, kindness to ourselves and others was mentioned first. Time and time again during this pandemic kindness has been mentioned. Neighbours helping one another out, NHS and other key workers going the extra mile, community projects initiated to assist those who are lonely, bereaved or experiencing poverty due to lack of work. Kindness is inate in so many people, yet it can take a crisis for us to stop taking it for granted and appreciate it as the truly wonderful gift it is. Nurturing it in ourselves and in others could change the dynamics in families, neighbourhoods and communities. If kindness were the basis of all our actions think what a different world this could be.

I realise now, looking back over the years, that kindness is probably one of the most precious gifts in friendship and if I were to be asked what is central to a longlasting, loving partnership with someone else, I would say kindness. I think I fell in love with R when one day, falling asleep on his sofa, I awoke to find he had covered me with a blanket. Such a small act and yet it showed me what deep rooted kindness he has. Every day on our trip he gets up before me and brings me my favourite breakfast in bed. Such kindness. What do I do in return? Am not sure I am nearly as kind to him as he is to me! Yet I realise when we start taking each other for granted, when we have those days when we just niggle at one another, kindness is slipping off the agenda and we need to reboot ourselves and put kindness at the top of the list of ‘things to be’.

R and I have seen so much kindness in our journey and I hope we have been kind in return. It has been frustrating not being able to share the boat as we would have liked to and my plan to offer endless cups of tea has not been practical with the fear of maybe spreading covid but one day, if we are blessed with continuing this journey, I still dream of sharing tea and homemade cake with passersby, listening to their stories and offering to pray with them or for them. Simple acts of kindness to make the world a better place.

As a PS, I realise tomorrow is Mothering Sunday and so the timing of reflecting on kindness seems very apt. The Collins English dictionary meaning of the verb ‘to mother’ is “to treat with great care and affection, as if they were a small child.” We can all at times feel like a small child, however old we may actually be, so let us give thanks for the kindness of anyone who looks out for us when the child in us is in need of mothering and may we in turn be aware of those in need of a mother’s loving touch and act upon it.